How Can I Tell if My Spouse Is Having an Emotional Affair?

Infidelity often spells the end of a marriage. This is true even when no physical indiscretions take place. Emotional affairs fall into this category, which occurs when a spouse shares a strong emotional bond with a person outside of the marital relationship. While there is no infidelity in the traditional sense, emotional affairs can still wreck a marriage, as explained by Psychology Today

Distance between you and your spouse is common with emotional affairs and a person may become distant for many different reasons. Your partner’s affections will be directed elsewhere, which means you’ll be left on the outskirts of the relationship. Your spouse may also be consumed hiding evidence of the affair, which leaves little time for you. In either case, emotional affairs can impact intimacy on multiple levels, from dismantling your emotional bond to reducing the level of physical intimacy you share. 

Being secretive is another red flag that may indicate an emotional affair. While it’s true that some people are more private than others, there’s no good reason for spouses to keep secrets from each other. Secrecy often becomes evident from a person’s use of computers or mobile devices. For instance, you might find that devices are password-protected when they never were before. A spouse having an emotional affair may also go to great lengths to conceal his or her phone.

Finally, people having affairs often exhibit changes to their appearance. A spouse might take a renewed interest in working out or grooming in order to impress the affair partner. While this isn’t always the case, improvements in one’s appearance can be an indication of a marital issue when combined with other red flags.

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